3rd May 2012
2 days before my birthday. I received call from home around 11'o clock of night that my father was hospitalised in emergency and needs operation. I do not exactly know the medical term but there was something like a tumour in his stomach which got burst and the poison was getting mixed in his blood.
I remember that night very well. I had classes the whole day and had to submit some report the following day. But I could not sleep the whole night, shivering in fear, feeling the urge to run home right at that moment...
4th May 2012
The operation went successfully in the evening and I started to feel like the most dangerous risk in my life just passed away very closely. And I was waiting eagerly to hear my father's voice again when he wakes up.
5th May 2012
It was my birthday. I called baba, his voice was weak but he wished me happy birthday and gave me his blessings. That was one of my best birthdays ever and I felt that nothing could make me happier than my father's sweet voice. Walking back to home with full moon in the sky smiling back at me, I felt life is beautiful!
But could I ever imagine that I will have to spend the same day after two years without his presence?
4th May 2014
It's my birthday tomorrow but I was not feeling anything inside for the first time in my life. Rather I was preparing my nerves to tolerate the pain that I won't get to hear my father's voice and the cruel reality will slap my face badly.
5th May 2014
Woke up with some birthday wishes from my close friends and my sister. I did not tell anyone about this day and I am off from all kinds of social networks now, those virtual wishes piss me off these days.
My mom had to rush to complete some official works and almost forgot the date. I gave her routine call when she remembered that it was my birthday. Strange enough, I did not feel bad at all. I felt like I do not want hear these words from anyone else as my father's voice echoed in my brain continually.
It rained a lot that day, I wished the rain wash away my tears and pour me with my father's blessings from heaven.
These days I just try to keep myself busy with everything, get dead tired at the end of the day, sleep and follow the same cycle. I do not want to be free for a single moment cause that's the moment I feel most depressed...
In today's world we hear news of people dying everywhere, but we always think that our parents will be with us. Do we ever think for a single moment that we have to celebrate our birthdays without those precious persons who gave birth to us?
Sad but true that life showed me the hardest thing at very early stage of my life, and it did not care enough to show the reasons. I have realized again how fragile we are...today I AM here but the next moment people might say I WAS here. I feel like a mentally paralyzed person who will never me able to think normally like 10 other people. But my birthday resolution is I will work hard till the end and will make my father happy and proud, cause I love to see him smile.
2 days before my birthday. I received call from home around 11'o clock of night that my father was hospitalised in emergency and needs operation. I do not exactly know the medical term but there was something like a tumour in his stomach which got burst and the poison was getting mixed in his blood.
I remember that night very well. I had classes the whole day and had to submit some report the following day. But I could not sleep the whole night, shivering in fear, feeling the urge to run home right at that moment...
4th May 2012
The operation went successfully in the evening and I started to feel like the most dangerous risk in my life just passed away very closely. And I was waiting eagerly to hear my father's voice again when he wakes up.
5th May 2012
It was my birthday. I called baba, his voice was weak but he wished me happy birthday and gave me his blessings. That was one of my best birthdays ever and I felt that nothing could make me happier than my father's sweet voice. Walking back to home with full moon in the sky smiling back at me, I felt life is beautiful!
But could I ever imagine that I will have to spend the same day after two years without his presence?
4th May 2014
It's my birthday tomorrow but I was not feeling anything inside for the first time in my life. Rather I was preparing my nerves to tolerate the pain that I won't get to hear my father's voice and the cruel reality will slap my face badly.
5th May 2014
Woke up with some birthday wishes from my close friends and my sister. I did not tell anyone about this day and I am off from all kinds of social networks now, those virtual wishes piss me off these days.
My mom had to rush to complete some official works and almost forgot the date. I gave her routine call when she remembered that it was my birthday. Strange enough, I did not feel bad at all. I felt like I do not want hear these words from anyone else as my father's voice echoed in my brain continually.
It rained a lot that day, I wished the rain wash away my tears and pour me with my father's blessings from heaven.
These days I just try to keep myself busy with everything, get dead tired at the end of the day, sleep and follow the same cycle. I do not want to be free for a single moment cause that's the moment I feel most depressed...
In today's world we hear news of people dying everywhere, but we always think that our parents will be with us. Do we ever think for a single moment that we have to celebrate our birthdays without those precious persons who gave birth to us?
Sad but true that life showed me the hardest thing at very early stage of my life, and it did not care enough to show the reasons. I have realized again how fragile we are...today I AM here but the next moment people might say I WAS here. I feel like a mentally paralyzed person who will never me able to think normally like 10 other people. But my birthday resolution is I will work hard till the end and will make my father happy and proud, cause I love to see him smile.
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