Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Another Transition in Life

Lately I haven't had chance to write much, though technically I was supposed to write more during summer break. But life hasn't been easy for last couple of months (not that it ever was!), and there has been a LOT of new changes in my life - some are positive and happy, while some other are sad and stressful. I've a lot of things to write about but I'm still trying to cope up with all the changes, and having tiring days and restless nights. However, I guess by now I should be able to figure out that it's not going to get better, and if I can't be more positive then this will only affect my productivity in every phase of my life. So, before going any further with other specific life issues, I'm writing today about another big transition in my life.

In mid-November I wrote a post on vulnerability, the fear of "What if?". I was in the worst transitional period where I had to figure out my next step - academia or job, USA or UK, leave or stay in Illinois and so forth. On top of the natural stress that every such situation brings, my hypertension, anxiety and depression made things further difficult. Fortunately enough in the end I had multiple options to choose from, but unfortunately it wasn't exactly the way I wanted. But still I can count myself as one of the privileged ones to have those choices. The end result is - I chose job over PhD, but the main reason behind this decision was it is based in an academic institution where I have the freedom to improve myself and enrich myself with some real life experiences. I've accepted the position as fellow/faculty at the NCSU Libraries (for more information visit the program Website). My home department is Digital Library Initiatives where I'm currently working on improving the search interface (or at least planning to do so), and my initiative is with Acquisition and Discovery Services where I'll be exploring the scope of Linked Data/Semantic Web. It's a very exciting position for me, and everyone in this library has been extremely kind and helpful. I couldn't possibly ask for a better work environment. Due to the location of my two departments, I'll be splitting my time between Hunt and Hill Library. Both are beautiful, especially Hunt is a more recent addition, multiple award winning library for its beautiful architecture. It's vivid with playful colors that can brighten up anyone's mood. We've bookbots there that's the first of its kind where people can actually see them in action when they request books.

Main reading area at the Hunt Library (view from third floor)
Lovely colors in the rain garden reading lounge
Besides that I especially like the Faculty Commons lounge where we have a separate reading and meeting space just to promote creativity. And it has some of the comfiest chairs ever!

Faculty Commons
It's crazy how time flies, will be three weeks soon that I started job. Still feels little crazy that I'm being an proper adult, actually stepped outside school and trying to contribute in real life. The tough part is being away from the people I love. I'm missing out my precious times with family. Not that it's new, but with so many recent changes in life, losing dad and many more, these days I feel like I'm living in constant fear of what's going to happen next. What if something happens to my family and I can't be there when they need me? But I'm lucky that I've Madison with me as my friend, colleague and roomie. She's one of those amazingly caring people who go out of their way to comfort someone. Well, I guess life decided to make up for me this way after constantly throwing all the shits at me. 

I haven't stopped hoping for a better tomorrow, but I now know that life doesn't stop for any negative events. Real life's messy, it doesn't always have happy endings like Disney movies, but we can't stop trying to make it better. I believe that if I can find one positive thing out of every stressful event, one positive thought to make the world a better place, and can be the reason of someone's smile while causing no harm to anyone, it's another win for me. While I'm writing this I know it's 10 times more difficult to actually practice it in real life, but I've promised myself that I'll try. May be I'll fail and I'll cry one more time, but I won't give up.

Dreaming for a better future..

No comments:

Post a Comment