Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Sakura at Tsukuba University - A Piece of Heaven on Earth

Though I am pretty late and the sakura has left already but I gotta write this pending post.

I just found that I have not written any post on my university despite of the fact that I absolutely LOVE this place. University of Tsukuba has the largest single campus in Japan and anyone who loves nature will instantly fall in love with this place (like I did). I remember one of my friends who visited from Tokyo said that this place has got too much green! Tsukuba is not that far from Tokyo; if you get into the rapid train of Tsukuba Express then you will reach Tokyo's Akihabara station in less than an hour. But this place is a much better one to live, especially for students. Cause I don't have to get into rush hour trains to go to school, it is very beautiful and peaceful here and it has got the perfect combination of urban and rural characteristics.

So let's get back to the sakura (cherry blossom) talk. This year the weather had been really nice compared to last year as it rained a lot during that time. And we got the news that it will bloom earlier this year because of heavy snowfall. There is a scientific explanation that the cold temperature caused by snow wakes up the flower buds early. I still have to read the scientific paper to understand the mechanism.

I was waiting eagerly for spring this year, thought I will visit all the beautiful places as this could be my last year in Japan. Then everything was scattered in my life in a single night. When I came back to Japan on 4th night I saw the cherry petals floating in the air and lots of petals on the road. Then I was dead tired and jet lagged till the next day and the following day it rained. So I thought there is no chance that I will be able to see cherry blossom this year. But to tell the truth I did not feel that urge either...

But probably we were meant to meet!
After my father left I got very sick from the panic and shock. For unknown reason I used to get chest pains and it started to occur very frequently. I tried to stay calm as much as possible but nothing helped..I could not sleep at all and I also had severe chest pain while my journey back. So after coming back to Japan my mom and sister kept telling me everyday to visit doctor. I did not feel better as the days passed, so when I got some free time on the day before my class started I went to visit the health center of university for the first time.
And that is when I found this small piece of heaven on earth! The place is near Amakubo Ike (pond) at our campus, on the opposite side of Art faculty(筑波大学 体育芸術専門).



There was pink and white sakuras, lovely flower petals were beneath my feet and touched my face while floating in the air. Mild breeze touched my hair and late afternoon sunshine touched my face. I have seen many beautiful places in last 5 years, but the difference with other places in Tokyo is, no one is fighting to get a place under sakura tree for hanami, only few students sitting here and there, chatting, singing. I also found a place by the pond and felt that our lives are same as these flowers, with different time span...nothing will last forever but as long as we are alive we should give our best and make full use of our time. Someone said that it doesn't matter how many years you were alive but what matters is how many years you live after you leave this earth. That afternoon was not very long but the image will stay in my mind for a long time as it helped to relief my bereaved soul. I also wrote a letter to my dad thinking that he is doing well in a much beautiful place than this.
Sharing some more photos of that beautiful  place :)






Thursday, April 24, 2014

Losing the person you love the most..

I loved him the most in my life. He was the most handsome person in this world, he had the perfect combination of merit, knowledge and kindness. I could never think of anyone else as my role model except him. We had the longest relationship, since I was born..Yes, I am talking about my father. To almost every girl her father is the most lovable person in her life. She knows that he would not hurt her even if her boy friend or husband does.
And I lost him...I still cannot believe this, and it hurts to say he 'was', not he 'is'...I could never imagine I will face the biggest loss in my life so early. And I could not even see his face in last 1.5 years...I was waiting so eagerly to visit home once I settle down everything with my grad school...I wanted to see him smiling proudly but I could not even say him a proper goodbye...I become squeezed in terrible fear each time I look back to March 19th night...I still do not know how did I pass those couple of days. Flying from Japan with this unbearable shock and pain, facing the most difficult situation in my life...how could I even say goodbye to a person who was healthy before a day and went for his work?

We all take our parents for granted. We are used to seeing so many people dying around world everyday, but can we ever think for a single moment that this can happen anytime with the person we love the most?

I have changed a lot after my father left me alone...I have learnt that this world is full of fake people...And I have learnt that no one, absolutely no one except your own family member will ever know what is going inside you...No one can imagine that I feel like a paralyzed person, as if someone cut me into half...the emptiness inside me cannot be fulfilled by anything else in this world...How would it be? When I want to talk to him badly can anything else take away that depression?
People say that time heals everything...but I know this wound will be fresh forever....

Now I feel guilty that I have been away from home for 5 years...only if I knew something like this might happen in next 5 years I would have done my best to keep in alive...I only wish I could get back him only once....Death is surely the most terrible thing we can ever face...

I love you baba...And I only wish you stay well in heaven..please come to see me sometimes..I feel terribly lonely without you...I want to hear your voice..could you please come to my dream tonight? ..... :-(

Please come back....