Sunday, December 4, 2016

Fun with Data - Basics of R - Part 3 Visualization

In this section we'll cover some basic visualizations with R using the built-in plot function and using the library ggplot2. Before we start, here's a quick review of the topics we covered in previous two sections.

Part 1 - Getting R and R-Studio in your machine, understanding the structure of R-Studio and loading data into R. We also covered some basic functions for viewing the content of loaded dataset.

Part 2 - Understanding prompts in R-Studio, variables, vectors and data frames. Also, summary, mean and length functions.

Now that we can load data into R and see what's inside, let's try to visualize it. Visualization is a great way to actually make the meaning of data visible, especially when we're dealing with large amount of data. For example, we're planning a sports event at school and trying to group students based on their heights. We can see the distribution by looking at the data, but when we create a graph it is easy to comprehend which proportion falls in which category based on height. 

Today we'll see how to create scatter plot using both basic plot function and ggplot2. R comes with many freely available datasets, which you can view by typing data(). We'll use the airquality, mtcars and pressure datasets to create sample graphs. Since they're already in R, we don't have to load them, but look into the content by using some of the functions we covered in previous sections, or by simply typing their names in the console.

airquality()
mtcars()
pressure()

Splitting the View Window
You can split the view window to see more than one graph or plot in the screen. For example, par(mfrow = c(1, 2)) splits the window into 2. Changing it to c(2, 2) will split it into 4. 

Install ggplot2 Package
install.packages("ggplot2")  # installs the package
library(ggplot2)                    # loads the library into the workspace 

Scatter Plot
In the mtcars dataset we can see weight of a car and how many miles it runs per gallon. We can find out if there's any correlation between these two by creating a scatter plot.

plot(mtcars$wt, mtcars$mpg, main="Scatterplot Example", xlab="Car Weight ", ylab="Miles Per Gallon ", pch=19)

I'll explain what each of the parameters mean. 
main -> Give a name to the plot
xlab -> Name of X-axis
ylab -> Name of Y-axis
pch -> Type of symbol for the graph. You can see the full list from this page.

Now, this alone can be little difficult to understand. So, you can add fit lines to this to see how many data are positively or negatively correlated. 

abline(lm(mtcars$mpg~mtcars$wt), col="red")  # regression line (y~x)
lines(lowess(mtcars$mpg~mtcars$wt), col="green")   # lowess line (x, y)


You can create the same graph using ggplot2, which is visually more pleasing and provides a lot of options to ornate your graph. (Check out the package documentation for further information)

# Create the same graph using ggplot2
qplot(mtcars$wt, mtcars$mpg, xlab = "Car Weight", ylab = "Mile/Gallon")

# Following syntax can be used if the two vectors are already in the same data frame.
qplot(wt, mpg, data=mtcars, xlab = "Car Weight", ylab = "Mile/Gallon")


We can also add colors to see correlation to another variable. In this example, cylinder size of cars. 
qplot(wt, mpg, data=mtcars, xlab = "Car Weight", ylab = "Mile/Gallon", color =cyl)

From this graph we can make assumption that light weight cars with smaller cylinder size usually run more miles per gallon. Similarly, we can create different visualizations by comparing other variables or in other words, by considering which information we're trying to provide to our audience. 

A great reference to learn about visualizations with R is R Graphics Cookbook by Winston Chang- 
Chang, W. (2012). R graphics cookbook. " O'Reilly Media, Inc.".

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Another Thanksgiving

From 2015 thanksgiving to this year - I don't know how time went by so fast. Too many things happened in between, changed my life so drastically that I felt I was constantly struggling to catch up, still trying. Life hasn't played fair with me for sure but I still have a lot to be thankful for. 

I've a loving family who are eagerly waiting to see me at home. My 2-year old nephew who hasn't seen me in real yet dies to talk to me on phone. I've a job that's going well and I'm almost always loved and appreciated by people. I've some awesome friends who're not living close to me anymore but are always there for me when I need them. Most of all, I woke up in my own comfortable bed and don't need to worry about food or other things. Life's good even though something is missing but something will always be missing and that's what gives us the drive to live and achieve the things we're missing. I know what's missing in my life right now - all the people I love, no one lives close to me anymore. It'll be almost 8 years soon that I left home. I missed my family but always had my friends around who'd fill up that space, but now that I've started a proper adult job like all my other friends, I'm missing the life I've lived for past 7.5 years. However, there's always something to be thankful for and what's meant to be for me will find a way to come back to my life. I believe that kindness, honesty, hard work and love can win everything in life even though sometimes it takes longer for some people.


Last year on this day I was with Aly and her family, it was wonderful. I was invited this year as well but couldn't afford to travel all the way to Illinois cause I've been traveling a lot lately and going home in two weeks. I needed some time for myself and I'm thankful to have that time. I'll have thanksgiving dinner with some of my lovely colleagues though, looking forward to that. Just hoping next year will be a more positive one for me and everyone else in my life who I love and hold closely.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

The Most Horrific Travel Story

As much as I love to travel, it always comes with some sort of horror stories for me. I wrote some of them in my Yet Another Travel Horror series before. However, each time I face some trouble somehow at the very last minute I get out of it, which happened this time as well. But none of the other horror stories is equivalent of what happened this time. So, here goes the most horrific travel story in my life.

It's been a while that I actually traveled somewhere. Moved to Raleigh around the end of June, and didn't have the chance to go anywhere. So, when I had the chance to go to a conference in Montreal, I was definitely more than excited to have a break from my routine work life and see some new places. I've a photographer friend in Ottawa who I've known for few years. We always talked about meeting up but never had the chance since it's hassle for me to go through visa application procedure and all. Since Ottawa is pretty close to Montreal, I told my friend he should visit me, but he said I should go to Ottawa instead as it's the capital of Canada. After seeing some pretty places there he'll drive me to Montreal the next day. So, I changed my plan and decided to go to Ottawa first for a day. But now I really wish I hadn't done that..

I reached Ottawa on Saturday afternoon and got super excited to see pretty fall colors, even though it was cold and raining. Since I had to leave pretty early for my flight, I was super hungry and we decided to go for lunch somewhere in China town. I get on the car and put all my bags on the back seat (mistake 1). We parked the car on a street, it was a quite busy area. When leaving I told my friend if I should take my bag pack with me (which I always do but I was tired of carrying), and my friend said that it's a safe area and it should be fine. So, I took out my wallet and left everything else there (mistake 2). Little did I know that I'll have to prepare myself for one of the biggest shocks of my life! We come back from lunch around 30 minutes later, and one of the car glasses was broken and both of my bags were gone. I always tell people I carry my whole life in my bag pack cause it's always heavy. Literally my whole life was gone with my bag, including my MacBook Pro and passport with USA and Canada visa. The only other time I freaked out in my life was when I got the news of my dad passing away, then there was this one. I didn't want to think of the consequences since they can be so big. If I were simply a tourist then it'd probably be easier, I would directly go back to my home country. But in my case, I've a US student visa though I started my job under OPT. My home country isn't my home now, I've a home in Raleigh where I live and work and have to come back. In order to do so I've to show my passport, visa, valid original I-20, work authorization permit and proof of employment at the border. And I lost them all other than one card, which meant I had to contact all those related people in the right order to get those IDs reissued. That doesn't only involve time, money and extra effort, but unnecessary human interaction with the type of people you usually don't want to interact with without any reason.

Next four days were complete nightmare and I possibly would never want live that ever again in my life. First important thing I learnt is, my country's embassy doesn't have any emergency protocol for such situation. This third world country stopped issuing hand written passport last year November and to issue machine readable passport it can take up to two months, which is not guaranteed. So, what do I do in such situation? Stay in Canada like a homeless person without any status? Does BD government have no liabilities to ensure the protection of their citizens in foreign countries? My campus HR wasn't of the greatest help either when I asked them to send me my I-20 copy. Also, my roommate was out of town too, which made things worse as I had some copies of my documents in my room. My house keys were in my bag, so they were lost too.

It was a completely uncertain situation, totally out of my control. The only thing I was trying to do is stay calm and act rationally step by step. My stress level reached higher than the highest it could get, and I started to have my old chest pain that happened after dad passed away. But I decided to go to the conference since that was the sole purpose of my trip and figure out the rest gradually. Then on Tuesday afternoon I get to know that my passports were found! Apparently the thief of someone dropped them in the Canada mailbox and they took them to my embassy. My employee ID card was there too. Luckily I had decided to attend the conference, otherwise if a new passport was issued in the mean time it would make no difference to get back my old one. So, all the puzzle pieces fit together right on time and I could make it back home. It felt like a complete miracle but somehow I was rescued at the last minute again. There are more details of the story but I'll leave it to that.

I'm still trying to recover from the shock and stress, and dealing with lots of different emotions. I always trust people instantly and never believe someone would cause harm to another innocent person, but that's definitely shaken. I'm having hard time believing in my future self who would make decisions for me. I've made so many mistakes while making decisions and failed myself as a proper intellectual adult. I need to think how to better myself and avoid unnecessary hassles and stress. I've always been fine traveling by myself but now I feel paranoid. It'll take some time to get rid of this anxiety but at least hope this huge life lesson taught me something! 

Moral of the story - be careful wherever you go, not because you don't trust others, but for your own sake, because one simple mistake can change your life forever.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Fun with Data - Basics of R - Part 2

In our first post on R programming language I covered how to download R and R Studio, understanding the structure of R Studio, and loading datasets into R. I meant to continue the series (as I always do), but couldn't get back to it any sooner. Recently I've started working on a workshop where I'll be teaching R to the beginners. So, I thought this would be the best time to add more content to this series as well. 

In this Part 2 I'll write about the following - Understanding prompts of R Studio, doing basic calculations in R, all about variables, functions, the concept of vector in R, and data frame. Some of these I should have covered in Part 1, but better late than never!

Prompts in R Studio
  • In console a new line starts with >, means it is waiting for us to communicate
  • If we give it an incomplete command then it returns +. Press esc button to return to a new line.
  • To quit R type q()
Doing Basic Calculations in R
  • The order of arithmetic operations is  (left [done first] to right [done last]) : ^ / * - +
  • ^ is used for raised to the power of, followed by division, multiplication, subtraction and addition.
  • At the prompt, we enter the expression that we want evaluated and when we hit enter, it will compute the result for us. For example: > 10 + 22 will return [1] 32
All About Variables 
  • Variables are the symbols that store assigned values. We can store a computation under a new variable or change the existing value of an old variable.
  • Variable names in R are case sensitive (upper or lower case).
  • It is a good practice to assign meaningful variable names that helps to refer to easily for complex calculations.
To assign a value: variable_name <- value
Example: x <- 100

ALERT! Reserved Symbols!
In all programming languages certain symbols are reserved for specific purposes. The reserved symbols in R are - c q t C D F I T (So, don't use them for your personal variables ^-^)

Functions
A function is a sub-program that performs a specific task. For example, to find a square root of a given value. It helps to avoid repetition and easy execution in future. 
Try this code to understand how functions work -
firstFunction <- function(n){n*n}
This function named firstFunction is supposed to return square of any integer. Test it out by assigning different values to the function. Think of what other functions you can possibly write.

Vector
Vector has different meanings in different contexts. In math and physics, a vector is an element with both value and direction. But in R, vector is a sequence of data elements of the same basic type. It can be defined by concatenating the members in a set c(). Example: x <- c(1, 2, 4, 5).

Once we have a vector of numbers we can apply certain built-in functions to them to get useful summaries. For example:
> sum(x)        ## sums the values in the vector
> length(x)    ## produces the number of values in the vector, ie its length
> mean(x)     ## the average (mean)

Data Frame
A data frame can be created by defining different variables for each column as vectors and then joining them together.
Example: Let us assume we have a list of different fruits with their names, colors and size.
> name      <- c("apple", "banana", "peach", "watermelon", "grape")
> color      <- c("red", "yellow", "peach", "green", "red")
> size_cm <- c(10, 15, 8, 40, 2)

Then we add these three columns together to create the data frame names fruits.data.
> fruits.data <- data.frame(name, color, size_cm)

To see the values of the data frame -
> fruits.data
        name      color       size_cm
1      apple        red            10
2     banana      yellow      15
3      peach       peach         8
4 watermelon  green         40
5      grape       red             2

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I think we've covered a lot of basics concepts already, so I'll stop here today. In the next post of this series, I'll write about setting work directory, manipulating datasets, and playing around with some plots/visualizations, and hope I can make it sometime soon! 

Sunday, October 2, 2016

My First Race

I've been running for about 4 years now, but I mostly run for fun, it helps me with stress. When I was in Japan I used to run only when it was warm outside, didn't really go to the gym. Since I moved to Illinois running became more frequent, and I loved our campus gym. So, snowy winters didn't stop me from running indoor on track. However, when it came to signing up for races, I kept going back and forth, but finally I did it! :D

Today I ran my first race - Historic Hillsborough Half Marathon and Fleet Feet Five K. I ran 5K many times before, so I thought it won't be a big deal. But since moving to Raleigh I couldn't run outside as much for the terrible heat, and wasn't active as much for last couple of weeks for flu. Also, it was very flat in Illinois, but this race area was very hilly (of course it makes sense because it's Hillsborough!), for which I wasn't well prepared, and felt terrible when I had to stop to breathe. Anyway, I thought I was pretty slow and one of the last to finish, but was glad that I almost made it among the first half finishers :)



Overall it was a good experience and a good start. Now I know how it feels to run with hundreds of people, often for a cause, and can train myself for longer runs. Weirdly enough, North Carolina doesn't have many 10K races. Most of them have two options 5K or half marathon, which is a pretty big jump. I really wish I could do a 10K in between, but I think I'll start to train myself for a half marathon soon. 

The race t-shirt and the medal were pretty rad! Did they know that I love mustard color?! I think I'll be wearing this t-shirt a lot! :D
Race Goodies

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Feel Better Food - Baymax Cupcakes!

Anyone who knows me well is aware of my love for Baymax from Big Hero 6. I mean who doesn't love Baymax? So, last week I was down with flu and fever, I took Friday off and decided to make myself some feel-better-food, and guess what was that? Yes, that was none other than Baymax cupcakes! I saw the recipe on Disney's twitter post and wanted to make them for a while. So, on Thursday Maddie and I went to the grocery store to get all the ingredients (of course we came back with everything in the store as usual! :p). Here is the list -

  1. Red velvet cake mix (you can use any brand, I got Betty Crocker)
  2. Giant marshmallows
  3. Edible marker or black gel (I couldn't find that kind of marker but the gel worked fine for me)
  4. Cheese cream frosting
  5. Possibly cones to add frosting
  6. Eggs
  7. Vegetable oil
  8. Cupcake liner
Directions to make the cutest cupcakes ever!
It's actually super easy to make. At first you prepare the cake mix as directed. Usually you pour the mix in a bowl, add eggs, vegetable oil and water. Then you fill in the cupcake liners and bake them for about 14 minutes.


Once they're baked take them and let them cool down for a while because you don't want the cheese frosting to melt (I know it's common sense but I did that -_-). Then add cheese frosting on top to make the belly of Baymax in whichever method you prefer. The last thing that's left is to add its face and arms. Take a jumbo marshmallow and draw its face using marker or gel. Then take another one and cut it into half to make the arms. Attach them with the cheese cream and you've your super adorable Baymax cupcakes, your personal healthcare provide! :D 

I solely made them to make myself feel better, they were too adorable to eat. So I ate the mushroom version and basically left them as a decorative element on my kitchen top :p But I recommend you eat them as well.

Mushroom cupcakes

Aren't super adorable? 

Monday, September 5, 2016

A Day at the Topsail Beach

North Carolina is famous for some of the most beautiful beaches in U.S. We were planning on going to the beach since I moved here, but for different reasons we couldn't make it in last two months. But with the occasion of my friend Nate visiting, we thought this would be the perfect time to make this happen. So, finally we made it to the beach last weekend!

Blissful solitude
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I grew up in a beautiful port city called Chittagong, where going to the beach on weekends was a pretty usual fun family activity for us. Some of my favorite childhood photos were actually taken at the beach. But since moving to Dhaka, and suddenly losing my younger sister in water accident, my mom became overprotective about us and would never let us go to the beach by ourselves. The last time I went to the beach and actually played with water was in 2011. We went to the Shirahama (White sand) Beach in Isu island with a bunch of friends visiting my house, which was 4 hours by train from Tokyo. It was very beautiful with white sand and blue water, I still remember the day. After that I've been around the beach few times but didn't really go close and play with the water. So, finally going to the beach, especially with two of my most favorite people made me super excited! 

We wanted to start early, but we ended up staying unusually late, so couldn't make it that early. It took us about 2.5 hours to get to the Topsail beach and by the time we reached it was past noon. When I first dipped my feet in the sand it was hot as hell but as soon as we got into the water it was unbelievably comfortable and pleasing. It was supposed to rain that day but luckily it didn't. Both the sky and water were pretty blue color and there were surfers riding on the beautiful waves. 


Play time!
We played and jumped in the water for hours, after many many years it felt like I went back to my childhood. Also, after long time, I went out with my actual camera and took some photos. I lied down with my back on the sand where waves could come and touch me up to my chin, I could feel the relaxing rhythm of them coming and going by. We talked about adult life but played like kids, and captured the memories in some pretty photos to cherish them years after. It was an amazing day!



We left the beach after 5 hours being burnt and I couldn't move my back and feet for next two days. But it was totally worth going, and I'm looking forward to some more fun trips as fall is coming soon. 

Friday, August 26, 2016

Where's Home for You?

I've always found the concept of 'Home' or 'Home Country' very interesting and at the same time confusing. "Where do you come from?" is a very common and simple question to be asked by people, whether you're living in your own country or in another country. This identity is embedded with us mostly by birth, which we can't choose as we can't choose who will be our parents. But as we grow up we eventually learn to live without our parents, most start their own families. Similarly, we're living in a world where more young people are moving abroad for education or job, it's becoming more common to meet people with mixed identities, i.e. half American, half German. When we leave our home country at a young age and build our own identity, own world at a separate place, in a different country, how much does it really matter where we're coming from? Or what percentage of us remains the same as what we had when we left home?

It's been 7.5 years that I've left home. I remember the day when I moved to Japan in April 2009. I was sad to leave my family, loving siblings there for sure, but I wanted to see more of the world, was excited to learn a new language, connect with the people who don't have the same background as me and many more. In my first year I became friends with 13 people from 12 different countries in my language school dorm and we're still good friends. Not that I never had homesickness, I did. But I started to create my own definition of home. After 5 years of living in Japan and finishing my college, I had so many memories and so many people I was connected with that I could easily call it my home away from home. As years went by friends graduated, most moved to different places for higher education or job, and each time I went back home I'd realize I had fewer strings attached. 

Same thing happened when I moved to USA from Japan. It was a huge step for me to leave my secure comfort zone, what I called home. But I was lucky to meet some amazing people and be loved and cared by friends from my very first day, and it never felt different. It's been 2.5 years here, don't know if I can call it home yet but I love the people in my life who are always there to comfort me and give me the feeling of being at home. In my entire time of living abroad, this is the first time that I'm sharing house with a roommate, who has been a friend from the very first day of grad school and now colleague. She's probably one of the most caring people on earth if not the most, and I can't describe how lucky I'm to have her in my life. When Madison told me she feels less anxious when I'm around, and actually got a lot of work done that she was nervous about, I knew that I can call this place home. We both long to come back here after tiring days at work and probably spend the most fun time with each other cooking, watching favorite movies/TV shows, or just talking about life.

When people ask me whether I miss my home, I can only say that I miss my family. That's the only string attached to that place. I loved the city where I was born and brought up - Chittagong, beautiful port town with beach and mountains. I remember crying and being depressed for months after we moved to the crowded capital at the age of 12. That was probably the first time I realized what depression is, and the fact that I'm more of a quiet person, crowded places don't suit me. Unfortunately I never fell in love with Dhaka as much as I loved my campus in Tsukuba, and don't feel excited to revisit that city itself. It might sound harsh to many, but I developed the concept of my own home, where I fell calm and enjoy the little things of life.

I came across Pico Iyer's TED talk "Where is Home?" as I started writing this post. He put it beautifully - "I've always felt that the beauty of being surrounded by the foreign is that it slaps you awake. You can't take anything for granted. Travel, for me, is a little bit like being in love, because suddenly all your senses are at the setting marked "on." Suddenly you're alert to the secret patterns of the world. The real voyage of discovery, as Marcel Proust famously said, consists not in seeing new sights, but in looking with new eyes. And of course, once you have new eyes, even the old sights, even your home become something different."


As long as I can travel, see new places, I'd always be excited about finding a new place that I might be able to call my home, and I'm a lucky to have several home away from home already :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Another Transition in Life

Lately I haven't had chance to write much, though technically I was supposed to write more during summer break. But life hasn't been easy for last couple of months (not that it ever was!), and there has been a LOT of new changes in my life - some are positive and happy, while some other are sad and stressful. I've a lot of things to write about but I'm still trying to cope up with all the changes, and having tiring days and restless nights. However, I guess by now I should be able to figure out that it's not going to get better, and if I can't be more positive then this will only affect my productivity in every phase of my life. So, before going any further with other specific life issues, I'm writing today about another big transition in my life.

In mid-November I wrote a post on vulnerability, the fear of "What if?". I was in the worst transitional period where I had to figure out my next step - academia or job, USA or UK, leave or stay in Illinois and so forth. On top of the natural stress that every such situation brings, my hypertension, anxiety and depression made things further difficult. Fortunately enough in the end I had multiple options to choose from, but unfortunately it wasn't exactly the way I wanted. But still I can count myself as one of the privileged ones to have those choices. The end result is - I chose job over PhD, but the main reason behind this decision was it is based in an academic institution where I have the freedom to improve myself and enrich myself with some real life experiences. I've accepted the position as fellow/faculty at the NCSU Libraries (for more information visit the program Website). My home department is Digital Library Initiatives where I'm currently working on improving the search interface (or at least planning to do so), and my initiative is with Acquisition and Discovery Services where I'll be exploring the scope of Linked Data/Semantic Web. It's a very exciting position for me, and everyone in this library has been extremely kind and helpful. I couldn't possibly ask for a better work environment. Due to the location of my two departments, I'll be splitting my time between Hunt and Hill Library. Both are beautiful, especially Hunt is a more recent addition, multiple award winning library for its beautiful architecture. It's vivid with playful colors that can brighten up anyone's mood. We've bookbots there that's the first of its kind where people can actually see them in action when they request books.

Main reading area at the Hunt Library (view from third floor)
Lovely colors in the rain garden reading lounge
Besides that I especially like the Faculty Commons lounge where we have a separate reading and meeting space just to promote creativity. And it has some of the comfiest chairs ever!

Faculty Commons
It's crazy how time flies, will be three weeks soon that I started job. Still feels little crazy that I'm being an proper adult, actually stepped outside school and trying to contribute in real life. The tough part is being away from the people I love. I'm missing out my precious times with family. Not that it's new, but with so many recent changes in life, losing dad and many more, these days I feel like I'm living in constant fear of what's going to happen next. What if something happens to my family and I can't be there when they need me? But I'm lucky that I've Madison with me as my friend, colleague and roomie. She's one of those amazingly caring people who go out of their way to comfort someone. Well, I guess life decided to make up for me this way after constantly throwing all the shits at me. 

I haven't stopped hoping for a better tomorrow, but I now know that life doesn't stop for any negative events. Real life's messy, it doesn't always have happy endings like Disney movies, but we can't stop trying to make it better. I believe that if I can find one positive thing out of every stressful event, one positive thought to make the world a better place, and can be the reason of someone's smile while causing no harm to anyone, it's another win for me. While I'm writing this I know it's 10 times more difficult to actually practice it in real life, but I've promised myself that I'll try. May be I'll fail and I'll cry one more time, but I won't give up.

Dreaming for a better future..

Thursday, July 7, 2016

It's Complicated

It's 4am. I woke up from nightmare for the second time in the same night. This time I had tears kissing all my face as I saw my dad again. May be it wasn't a complete bad dream because in the end I saw him alive, smiling, dressed impeccably in white ironed shirt. As far as I remember, in the beginning of that dream dad was missing, we couldn't find him anywhere. He wasn't a person who'd disappear like that. He could be late from work or be away for traveling, but he would always let my mom know because he knew she'd worry too much. But in my dream I was trying again and again to connect his phone, but it was out of network. He came back later after two days, in an ambulance that looked smoky inside and he seemed dizzy, though looking perfect. I kept calling him again and again, worried, terrified and he smiled and said "Ha, Baba (Yes, dad)."

This was a sad dream, but even more sad reality's it happened in real life without happy ending. My dad went for a trip for work, came back in an ambulance, but I never got to hear his sweet voice, ever again.
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I never liked celebration as much my whole life, so was never much excited about Eid even as a kid. Since I moved to Japan in 2009 that feeling got stronger as regular school and work days became part of Eid, no special vacation. 

Today was another year, another Eid. I woke up early morning, went to office, had a long day. Might sound strange to many, but I didn't feel anything, there was a strange numbness. The last Eid I spent with my family in 2012, dad was with us. I can still see him waking up in his beautiful green punjabi shortly before we took some family portraits. That was probably the first time after my brother was born and we lost our sister that we got all of us in the same frame, and also the last time. Deep in my mind I probably don't want to destroy the image of that Eid by any other sad Eid day without dad being around.
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I dream my dad pretty often. But I think I'm probably having more nightmares and suffering from insomnia these days because I'm getting more and more of that worrying too much problem of my mom as I'm getting older. I remember being annoyed by that when I was younger, but it's strange that it makes a lot more sense now. I know now it's the fear of losing the loved ones. Recently there was the most terrible and shameful terrorist attack in our country's history. The whole country's still mourning for the lost ones and not being able to be festive as they're still shaken by the horror. I can feel how terrified it was for those families whose members were stuck in that bakery during attack, and the panic attack they had when their dear ones came back in ambulance and never talked to them again. I know all these, that's why being away from family keeps me constantly worried consciously and subconsciously, hence the nightmares.

Lying on my bed all alone at 4am I'm questioning a lot of things about my life, which I know possibly have no satisfying answer. As we grow older we detach from parents, learn to live our own life, move somewhere else, invest on ourselves. These are all necessary for personal growth. I know if I hadn't made those decisions about my academic life early in my career and decided to leave my home country, I won't probably be where I'm today. But at the same time I had to make the biggest compromise of my life, staying far away from my loving family, the most important part of my life. Is it worth doing it? I can't probably answer in one word, it's complicated, and there are so many factors. But the only thing I can hope and pray for is that things will get better, and my family will be able to live in a safe country where we don't have to be constantly terrified about another attack, and I won't lose sleep worrying too much. Just wishing everyone has a peaceful and happy Eid with their dear ones full of love and happiness.


Friday, April 15, 2016

Painting is the Secret Cure - 2

Usually it gets difficult to paint as often when I'm busy during the semester, but lately I'm trying to utilize the power of this secret cure more. Painting really helps me to heal faster than anything else (well, besides eating brownies :p), and also take a break from stressful real life. So, just wanted to post the three new painting I've done recently.

The first one is a simple still life. I was actually planning to paint something related to spring that day, but changed my mind as I held the brushes as I hadn't painted still life in a while. Not super happy with the end result, but the process of doing that made me happy, and I guess that's what matters the most :) Oh, also I authored my own book in my own painting! :p Hope someday that happens in real life! 


The second one is inspired by a dreamy macro image I've randomly come across, and my most favourite. It was so pretty and dreamy that I decided to replicate that in my work, though usually most of my paintings are not based on any real life image but totally out of imagination, and the theme depends on my specific mood of that time. Also, I felt that I could utilize the real power and beauty of water color after long time in this work, so, pretty happy :)


The third one is the outcome of the euphoria after finishing the previous one. I was so excited that I didn't want to put down my brushes. Also, I have been missing a pretty sunset for a while. So, started randomly playing with colorful sky, then sea, then some more. It ended up looking little bit like Chicago (Lake Michigan).


Hope I'll be able to relax and paint more once I graduate :) Till then need to stop all sorts of procrastinations and push myself for 2 more weeks! 

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Philly Trip for iConference 2016

After all the travel horrors I mentioned in my previous posts, I had a safe trip to Philadelphia, and it was an experience worth having. This was my first time attending iConference. Before starting grad school I saw the news on the departmental website about the students who made it to iConference, and thought someday I'll be able to contribute too. Luckily I had that opportunity before graduating. The project I worked on last summer at the Oxford e-Research Centre with Dr Terhi Nurmikko-Fuller and Dr Kevin Page got accepted at the conference to present as a poster, and not only that, I got nominated as one of the five finalists for Best Poster Award. Here's how the final version of my poster looked like -

iConference Poster for the BABY Elephant project
Day 1
First day in Philly was interesting! It was little cloudy and colder than it was last couple of days. I went out with my friend Kate to watch Zootopia again, which was definitely a lot of fun because this is the best disney movie of recent times! On our way back it started to rain with ice, which turned into snow later. It was very strange with the spring flowers blooming and snowing outside! Anyway, I had to present at the poster session next two days, so was little nervous but excited at the same time. Also, I found out my supervisor Joho sensei and Dean Sugimoto sensei (one of my most favorite persons from the university) from University of Tsukuba were attending the conference. That added lot more excitement as I hadn't seen them in almost two years.

Day 2
The first day at the conference started with a fine weather. I left home around 6:45am to make to the venue early enough for registration, and the downtown looked beautiful in early morning light.

Conference venue at Loews Hotel
After I reached the hotel and put up my poster on board, I saw Sugimoto sensei was sitting just at the opposite table. I was SO super excited that I jumped and hugged sensei (I'm telling you this is very unusual in Japan, so I was definitely planning not doing that, but couldn't control :p). It was nice catching up with the senseis. The rest of the day was pretty long, listened to many interesting talks, and then the poster session ended at 6:30. Then we had fancy banquet at the National Constitution Centre. I met some nice folks there and made two good friend from the Northwestern University. Also, forced Joho sensei to pose for me as he dislikes taking photo as much as I do :p 
I was dead tired after that, thought I could sleep the whole night straight, but woke up around 4am as usual. Don't understand what's wrong with my brain! 

Inside the National Constitution Centre
Feast! 
Sugimoto Sensei (left) and Joho Sensei (right)

Day 3
Second day at the conference started early again but was more low key for me. I forgot to mention that 95% students attending iConference are PhD students. So, there were a lot of events for the doctoral students. I didn't have a lot to do for couple of hours during lunch break, so thought I would explore the neighborhood. 
It was pretty nice out, I decided to visit Philadelphia's Magic Gardens, which was about 15mins by walk. After arriving there I found out it's closed on Tuesdays, so couldn't get in. But they still had pretty installations and murals in the surroundings. So, could take some nice pictures, and enjoyed the sunshine while walking back to the hotel.

This reminded me of Moroccan architecture!


Magic Gardens Surroundings
The day ended with the poster award ceremony, received a certificate on behalf of all. Then ended up hanging out with some friends from the conference. This time I was really tired to move or do anything at all. So, went to bed straight after getting back home.

The certificate
Day 4
This was my last day in Philly. Since all the conference sessions were over by noon, I decided to spend the rest of the day exploring the city. I went to visit the Eastern State Penitentiary. Opened in 1829, it was one of the oldest prisons in USA, and used to be one of the most expensive ones. This place was on top of my list because of its historic value and creepiness, and I thought it was worth visiting. I got to learn a lot about the history, and felt as if I was reliving those times as I was listening to the audio tour while looking at the pictures.
View from the staircase 
Crumbled room in the prison
After visiting the penitentiary I headed towards Philadelphia Museum of Art, which was second on my list. They had an interesting and unique special exhibition on international pop art. Besides that I enjoyed the Impressionist paintings, especially by my two favorites Claude Monet and Camille Pissaro. Overall, I liked the museum, thought they had interesting collection. And their gift shop was pretty big too! 
Front of the museum
Cityscape from the museum stairs
Another view of the museum
On my way back I saw a gorgeous sunset, bought some souvenirs, and happily came back home. Walking in Philly downtown is pretty straightforward, I loved that area a lot.


Glorious sunset
The next day I flew back to Chicago, and from there to Champaign. The weather wasn't terrific there, both the flight and bus were delayed. So, it ended up taking almost 11 hours from door to door where the flight is only 2 hours! I met another interesting person from UIUC on my way back. Though tiring, I think it was a good trip, especially since it fell during spring break, and I could have some time to recover before I go back to school.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Yet Another Travel Horror - Part 3

I'm writing this post with the hope that this would be the last time of any travel horror, and I won't have to write part 4. Also, I need to finish writing the horror stories soon because I've tons of fun stories from this Philly trip waiting in queue to be written down. So, this post is mainly about how I got into trouble with just a little mistake, and how that made me go through some taxing experiences just to realize better that most government systems don't work in a conformed manner. I think it's important that I write these down so that people get to know about the real situation, and be prepared to tackle such unusual situations in advance.
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This is how it started - I had to apply for a foreign visa to travel, and since I had terrible experiences in the past with getting back my visa at the 11th hour, I was trying to be extra cautious this time and decided to apply at the earliest possible time. Usually the visa applications take decent amount of time to gather all the information and documents, making sure everything is alright, making appointment with the biometric centre in Chicago by finding the best match between their schedule and my schedule, paying for the return shipping using their crappy user interface that doesn't work for most of the browsers (I'm talking about a specific one here, not generalizing), and finally sending out the documents within 2 weeks of biometric appointment. Otherwise the whole application becomes invalid. So, I managed to do everything fine and sent out the documents on the next business day after my biometric appointment while I totally forgot that I had to travel for a conference within States after 2 weeks. Though there is chance to get back the visa within two weeks, it's usually better to keep that minimum time in hand since it's not guaranteed. At first I started to freak out about the whole thing, but then after Googling little bit, I thought about the possible options to handle this situation, which are -
  1. Use the USPS Package Intercept service to get back my package, which would cost me some extra money but at least that will save me from the whole mess. According to USPS, the system is supposed to be applicable for any addresses other than those for Commercial Mailing Receiving Agency or PO Box, and as long as the package is eligible for the service, it will be redirected, though not guaranteed. 
  2. Get State ID issued. According to DMV Website, it requires three types of documents to do that - a. Proof of date of birth (passport, birth certificate, high school transcript etc.), b. Social Security Card, c. Proof of Residency (water/electricity bills, lease, mortgage etc.)
  3. If nothing works then withdraw my visa application and apply again later.
  4. Travel by bus, which will take about 17-20 hours but will eventually get me there.
Before I get into details I should mention that none of the methods from 1-3 worked, the whole thing worked out totally by luck and probably by the consideration of some generous heart. So, luckily I didn't have to go for no. 4. I'll explain the further details below.
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My first approach was to get State ID issued as I read on another post that someone who had a similar issue applied for State ID, and it wasn't mentioned that we must need passport for that. But just to be sure I called two DMV offices at least four times. Usually the people at DMV offices are extremely rude (I feel extremely bad to say that but that's the fact), and I was never as nervous to talk to someone, even during my job interview! Then the information I received was completely inconsistent. So, I appeared at the DMV with my high school transcripts and I was let in, but when I went to desk they told me I'll need my passport or work authorization permit. Then I went again with the work authorization notice I received, and I was told I'll need form A, not C. So, the story continued, and I decided not to go through those crappy human interaction again. But here's what you need to know -
All the information provided on DMV Website only apply to US citizens. To apply for State ID you'll need to take the following documents (if you're a student with F1 visa) -
  1. Passport (original birth certificate or high school transcript would not be accepted)
  2. Updated I-20 which is valid for at least 6 months
  3. Most recent I-94
  4. Social Security Card (SSN)
  5. 2 documents to prove state residency 
So, I would suggest getting yourself a State ID as soon as possible, which will help avoid carrying passport everywhere. Especially for international students it's a LOT of work to get a new passport issued in case it's lost, so state ID is always a better option to handle such situation. (Well, only if I had thought about it 1.5 years ago!!! )
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As soon as I figured approach 1 isn't going to work, I decided to use USPS package intercept service because my package was still eligible, and I thought that way I can have my passport back, apply for State ID, and then send back my documents again to the consulate. But guess what, the online system denied to take my address, or actually any address in Illinois. I went to the post office, called the main office of USPS, and filed a case after waiting in line for 40 minutes. But eventually everything failed and nobody could help me to redirect my package. It eventually reached NY, and after 2 more business days USPS contacted me with the delivery information. But that was not why I contacted them! They were supposed to at least resolve the issue why their online system didn't work, and what could help to prevent such situation. Frustrating user experience.
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Since those two methods didn't work, I had only one option left - to withdraw my visa application. So, I contacted the consulate using their online email form with 500 character limit. I must say they're usually very quick and efficient in getting back to people. However, there was no continuing thread of message, and each time a different person would respond, which often resulted into inconsistency. I was quite positive that I'll be able to withdraw my application, and get back my documents on time. But on Thursday morning I received the email (after my case was being escalated because of urgency) that, I have to sign a withdraw form that says that my package will not leave until at least 48 hours. To me it didn't make any sense because I'll lost everything in that way - I won't receive my documents by my travel date, and I've to go through the same pain of visa application again. So, I informed them that I decided to carry on with my visa application and would not withdraw it, while I appreciate their time and support. 
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I checked bus tickets in the morning while mentally preparing myself for 20 hours long journey. At the same time I was panicking to get my poster in shape on time to get it printed by Friday. After working for 4 more hours straight, I finalized my poster and rushed to the printing centre to submit it by noon. On my way back from there I received an email from the consulate that my visa was approved and stamped on my passport, and will be sent to me either by this (Thursday) afternoon or Friday afternoon. I can't explain how big relief that was, and it still feels like a total miracle to me that I survived this travel horror. I promised myself that I'll be more careful from now on and do every possible thing to avoid such mishaps. And whoever decided to urgently issue my visa and immediately send my documents back, may God bless that human being!

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Yet Another Travel Horror - Part 2

After all the possible stressful events till the last moment, finally I’m on my way to Philly to attend iConference. So, thought this would be the perfect time to write the second part of the travel horror story. But since I’m on the bus heading Chicago at this moment, I’ll write about the last happening first.
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Yesterday I was finally happy and relieved that I could make it to present at the conference without any accident. But I had an extremely busy day catching up with a lot of personal tasks, attending GSLIS panel for new students, going out with my bestie for his birthday dinner, and was dead tired when I was back. Usually we can book the bus tickets for Chicago on the same day, so I was least worried about that. So, I woke up and opened my computer to book bus ticket, and to my greatest horror all the tickets were sold. Not only on my favorite Peoria Charter’s website, but everywhere! There was not a single ticket left for the whole day including train. Totally forgot that it’s the first day of spring break plus weekend, everybody is leaving town for home. I was almost freaking out, so thought I’d ask Nate since he visits Chicago more often and might know some alternatives. Luckily (read very luckily) he found one bus ticket that could be my best option. I was supposed to arrive at the airport 1 hour 15 minutes before the flight, little tight but there was still chance that I’ll be able to make it. So, I survived the last bit of travel horror though was little anxious. Again, luckily after an hour I got an email from the airlines company about 1 hour flight delay. Usually that’s an annoying news for anyone, but this time that was the best news I could get as it saved me from running at the airport with luggage or worry the whole time about the bus getting late. So, here I’m, heading Chicago to catch flight for Philly, too exhausted. I’ll write about how the horror story began on my next post when I reach Philly.